3.6.11

Observant Tendencies.

Yesterday I saw a slow, old man walking a long, thin Terrier up a hill.

The whole event was so mundane and I was a bit shocked I was walking slow enough to take a gander at it. It was actually quite a highlight of my day to be honest, as I found the whole thing terribly sweet. Back in San Francisco I used to enjoy walking fast and just getting to the destination. I didn't need to stop and look at people or wave to a friend, just get to where I was headed. I would actually time myself to see how much faster I could walk than everyone else from the end to the top of campus--6 minutes (a bit compulsive but I digress.)

It all seems quite silly now.

At this moment in my life, it is not really understandable I would want anything to go faster. There are a lot of big decisions and learning curves coming my way this year, for instance:
  • Finishing up my last months abroad and soaking in as much of Germany as I can
  • Senior year is right around the corner, meaning stressful journalism classes and internship searches
  • Learn to parallel park (what? Like you've ever had to parallel park in North Carolina?)
  • Getting a job to reimburse my study abroad funds
  • Looking for a place to relocate after San Francisco
BLAH BLAH BLAH right? The point is, that in addition to the many reflections I have had studying abroad, there are always more to be discovered and thought over. Ever since I moved from North Carolina to San Francisco I was always hoping for my college years to move fast and just be over already.

Now that I'm at the last leg of the tour I just want to pull back, and I assume it's a feeling many in my position go through. It just feels like such a new experience, and that freaks me out. Even when high school was coming to an end, I begged for those last days to be OVER. High school was never a journey I wanted to savor every moment of.

I imagine that there are people wouldn't understand the phenomenon of wanting to slow down before the end of the college race. Me, for one. Truth is, although I graduated high school without the intentions of wanting to go to college, and even the tiny bit of me that did want to attend, wanted the whole process to whirl by. Fate (if you believe in that,) began it's own decisions. Starting with a 16 year old me getting yelled at by my grandmother on my father's side (whom I was meeting for the first time), while celebrating my birthday with my twin in a Hard Rock Cafe at Disney World. She couldn't fathom the idea of me not going to college, and she wanted everyone to know it.

That was not a turning point, but merely a moment of frustration in my plans to backpack around the world (which at this point, seems a bit silly for my personality.) My real quest for college began after a week-long visit to UNC-Chapel Hill, where I lived in the dorms and took intensive journalism courses. It was one of the best and luckiest event in my life thus far. It's the reason for my pursuit of journalism now and I appreciate it every day.

Whew. A little less than two months and the whole "study abroad" experience in Tuebingen will end. I'll be back at San Francisco State before I know it.

These days seem to be passing by even faster than I first wanted them to.

If you ever head up to the Stuttgart Fernsehen-Turm....

2 comments:

  1. Girl, you are so ahead of the game. Already you have taken this awesome step of studying abroad - but even more so you really appreciate it. Plus, you know how precious life in college is. No fear! You're going to have an awesome year! Didn't want that to rhyme, but that's what happened. Don't stress and live it up!

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  2. Thank you so much for your comment! It really cheered my spirits up. :)

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