26.5.10

PM Life: Friends and Whatnot

So a day ago my work friends express in interest in hanging out with me and that we could have a group meet up. I replied that I positively would love that and told them I was free anytime. Too bad they decided to hangout without me yesterday, expressing their good times over Facebook. I know that I only have one true, good friend in San Francisco, but I'd like to have more. Sometimes I feel like I know everyone, because of my daily work at the on-campus cafe, but I really don't know anyone at all. Friendly faces of regular customers do not equal friendly faces who meet you for dinner dates or SF adventures.

I think that's why I am so anxious to go to Germany now that I got accepted into the year-long study abroad program. My customers that I feel so connected to will go about their lives, and I will come back to an empty campus where I do not work and do not know anyone besides one person. All the roommates I have ever lived with have transferred, with the exception of the one deadbeat roommate I can't stand and still owes $940 to the apartment. Jerk. Anywho, the point is that I am so worried about others and their lives/perception, that I cannot focus on my own. Germany will be a...
learning and growing experience I know.

My mother says that I have to start putting myself first. I just get so worried about others that I always forget to do that. I've gone through multiple bouts of depression throughout my childhood and although I spent the my first semester in college happy, it's gone downhill. This month has been the worst. Let me detail a few continuous occurances that upset me:

-my deadbeat male roommate has been slacking on rent, and racking up late fees he has no way to pay for, and as a subleaser (and me the main leaser) I will eventually have to pull out the $$ to pay for his own debt.

-the touchscreen on my G1 stopped working along with the ability to call/receive calls from it. My dad did not have warranty so I had to go to a local store to fix it, buy a loaner phone and wait a week. Oh wait, two weeks, because the problem was not fixed the first time! Ugh. Goodbye $110.

-bombed my Astro final. Hello first 'D' of my college career.

-dog pee. My deadbeat male roommate has a chihuaha he failed to train, get neutures and oh! take care of. He is never home and never cleans the pee in time. Hardwood floors ruined. $1200-1600 will be taken from my $1250 deposit to fix it. Sob. He agreed to pay me back though, but how can one trust a deadbeat?

-dishes. Deadbeat roommate refuses to clean his dishes in a decent time even though he uses mine. We have argued multiple times over the year about this. All my dishes are now in the trash. I would never wash those dishes. I'd rather die.

Thank goodness I am out of that apartment/living situation. I am going to write a letter to his parents about his debts and etc. He's 24 years old and his mother still sends him half his rent every month. Really? I work 26 hours a week, go to college full time and pay EVERYTHING on my own. Man up. Sorry this is so long, I had a good cry, but nothing really gets me over a situation like writing does.

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